My six year old gets of the bus yesterday and she's giggiling her little tush off. Once we're in the house she rips her back pack off, and tosses it like she was in some sort of cow dung flinging contest. Rips her jean jacket off. Which I'm certain has now become a vest. To then start jumping around like a pixi stick-snorting midget. Of course I had to find out what the hell was lighting the fire under her ass.
6 year old: *Tee hee* *Heeee teee* *Ahhhh yeee teeeeeeee ahhhhhhhh*
Me: Holy crap! Wth is wrong with you? Did someone pass you crack juice?
6 year old: Uhh if the juice had a crack it would have spilt and I would NOT have drank it cause it'd be on the floor. Uh duhhh.
Me: Touche. Now what's up with you?
6 year old: *snort* I *haha* did something you didn't see this morning. And... And... I am A-mazing!
Me: Oh god what did you do?
6 year old: *Lifts up her shirt* Looky here mom! *Snort* *Hehe* I got me a bra and wore it to school and you didn't see it *aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahhhhhhha*
Me: Oh-My-God! Where did you get that? When the hell did you put that on? And how the hell did you put it on?
6 year old: You went potty and I went in sis's cabinet and there it was, in all it's bra-ness (Yes' she used bra-ness) a trainers bra. To train my boobay's not to be to my knees.
Me: *snort* Uh sweetie.... You don't have boobs. Plus your not a 80 year old woman. Saggy boobs is something you don't need to worry about. Now please take that off, your way to young for that. And your father might have a slight heart attack.
6 year old: I look sex-aaaaaaaay, Mom. Don't hate, preestickapate.
Me: Paricipate! And stop talking to your sister. Your picking up on her odd teen antics. And once again take that bra off. You can have it back in 5 years.
So there you have it. My 6 year old decided it was a good idea to start early and train her nonexisiting boobs. Atleast she knows that early prevention is key.
Now I must put a lock on my bras and thongs. Who knows what she will do next.